Why therapy might feel “slow.”
You did it! Your google search for “therapy near me” or “EMDR in Salt Lake City” has finally paid off. You’ve been seeing a therapist for a handful of weeks so far and you’re wondering, “Why does therapy feel slow? Am I doing something wrong? Did I choose the wrong therapist?”
The good news is that you are not alone if you’re feeling like therapy is a bit “slow.”
Therapy can often feel slow for several reasons:
Building trust - By nature, humans are often cautious with the information they share, which means it will likely take time to feel like you can be fully yourself with your therapist. Even when you’ve seen your therapist for 5 sessions, you’ve actually only known them for less than 5 hours of your life. That’s a short amount of time, right? Feeling comfortable enough to share personal details or vulnerabilities can take several sessions or even longer.
Your unique personality and concerns - While media can often portray therapists as a big book of answers to all of life’s problems, the truth is that we’re very much not a big book of answers (and, if someone is telling you that they are, that might be a red flag). You have decades of life experiences within you — it takes time for you and your therapist to build a sense of understanding that’s unique to you and not just a textbook understanding.
Your concerns are (rightfully) complex! Just as you’ve taken decades to become who you are, our “problems” are often the same way. Many of our concerns are deeply rooted and complex, requiring time to untangle and understand. This can take time to unpack, understand, and address. Therapy isn’t a “one session fixes all” approach.
Unrealistic expectations - In our modern era, we are primed for immediate results and yet the reality of life is that often personal growth and change occur gradually. If we are holding ourselves to unrealistic expectations about “how fast we need to change” we may be damaging our time in therapy by trying to rush our own unique process.
And finally:
External factors - Outside stressors or life events can affect the pace of therapy. Sometimes addressing current life challenges may take precedence over diving deeper into underlying issues. If your house caught on fire, we’re not going to ignore that! This is totally ok, though it may cause the feeling that we’re moving slowly. We can always address the in-the-moment stressors while also keeping your long-term goals in mind.
Therapy is a journey that varies in pace for each individual. While it might feel slow at times, the process of growth and self-discovery often requires patience and persistence.
If you're feeling concerned about the pace of therapy, discussing these feelings with your therapist could be beneficial. Your therapist wants to hear your feedback.
If you’re looking for EMDR or mental health therapy in Salt Lake City, I’d invite you to schedule a free consultation with me today. I look forward to hearing from you!
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Erin Drum, LCSW, is a mental health therapist in Salt Lake City, Utah who provides EMDR and IFS (among other treatments) to help clients find inner peace and acceptance.
